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More grumblings   
04:02pm 31/01/2006
  From the bitter old lady I'm turning out to be, apparently (thanks, girls).

I want to lose weight. I really really do. But then there are weeks like these, and... and... ugh goddamnit I can't bear to think, let alone run around a track or bob up and down on some machine.

Let's cut it down to the brass tax, gentlemen: I fell asleep at 1:45 last night, to awaken in a cold sweat at 5:00 am suddenly aware that my half-hour nap had lasted much longer than it was supposed to, and indeed one of my five page papers that was due today hadn't even been started.

My body has the ability to subtly remind me of things I've forgotten in just such a manner. I call it the "oh shit" syndrome.

And goddamn it, it never fails that I think... well, I might as well get up and do it, and I'll be done in enough time to take a half-hour nap before I have to leave. And I'll be damned if every single day I fall victim to this disease, the printer spits out my paper or the last flashcard falls just as it's time for me to dress and haul my ass out the doorway. Tired and hungry and cranky and not quite in the mood to spend seven hours either sitting in a class or chasing around the twins.

Now, if you could burn calories on stress and mental work alone, I'd be gorgeous. But you can't, and I'm not, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that the very rare free time I do have is difficult to ration.

I've been seriously considering taking a month off work to work on this issue once the babies leave. We'll see how my roommate and financial partner feels about THAT idea, particularly considering that he hasn't been too fond of me as a whole lately. Although I can see how he'd appreciate either end... As Jody has been so delicately reminding me lately, nobody loves a fat chick.

Enough. Enough. Get me the hell out of here.
     Read 4 - Post
Oy vey   
06:12pm 24/01/2006
  Any girl who preaches the virtues of dating a truly honest man never actually has.  
     Read 4 - Post
11:28pm 04/12/2005
mood: high
1. Something purple within 5 feet of you:
my shirt (got lucky there...)

2. The sexiest item of clothing you own:
my green dress

3. Your nails were last painted?
Dixie and I went to get really nice pedicures like a month ago... mine were burgundy

4. The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
A potato chip bag... they shrink! It's the coolest thing

5. How much Japanese do you know?
The teeny tiniest bit... domo aregato

6. Do you look good in yellow?

7. Do you sing?
All the time

8. Ever danced naked in front of a crowd?
I try not to

9. Do you spit?
No way, unless I'm like sick or somthing

10. Is your hair long enough to chew on?
Uh... it's long enough to wipe my ass with... not that I've tried

11. Least favorite color?

12. Ever had Dippin' Dots?
MMmm MMMmm

13. Ever played an instrument?
the piano, and I'm working on the bass

14. Ever had a H2O massage?
Umm no

15. Do you believe in Big Foot?
Not really, no

16. Ever been to a palm reader?

17. Last Pez dispenser you purchased?
Wouldn't it be great if someone like had a really great story about the last pez dispenser they ever bought, so it was like perfect that this question appeared on a survey? Yeah... I don't. Someone else come up with one.

18. Have you had sex in your current car?
Yes- and I wouldn't recommend it... cramped

19. Did you have a good weekend?
I'd have to say so... so far

20. What are you thinking about right now?
Finals... booooooo

21. Have you ever had a black eye?
Not that I know of... Sean almost gave me one with that boulder of a head

22. How is today going for you?
Well, I woke up laying in between two cute guys... that's quite a way to start any day, wouldn't you think?

23. Any plans for tonight?
Ummmm no

24. Ever photograph something that was dead?
A bird that I found at the farm... he was choking on a mulberry and I tried to save him but I couldn't and then when he died I made a little alter to put him on and took a picture... weird story, I know

25. Are you ready for Christmas?
I'm SO excited for it to be here, but am I technically ready with all my gifts bought and wrapped.... haha... no

26. Ever given someone a Full-Body oil massage?
Nearly full-body

27. Do you find Smurfette sexy?
Gee... lemme think... no, can't say I do

28. Do you have an air freshener in your car?
I find that just me sitting there tends to freshen any area sufficiently, haha

29. Do you have plants in your room?
Not yet... but Zaniel's going to make me a windowbox herb garden

30. If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
I wish we had some MILK in this house so I could eat some grapenuts

31. Last piece of mail opened?
Jeez it's been a while... the invitation to Mitch's graduation party

32. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My neck, from laying like this, and I am pretty hungry

33. What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
Not since... Paris, I think... I never really take cabs

34. Last thing you ate?
Snap peas, last night

35. If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
Ew... noone is that cruel

36. What's your birthday?

37. What were you doing at 9 pm last night?
Driving home from a party... well, not home, to my parent's house, to play bridge

38. What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
White chocolate mocha

39. Do you exercise as much as you should?
Wish I could... toooo busy

40. Did you do the deed on prom night?
Nah... too cliche

--Ex Survey--

1. Is your ex on your friend's list?
on Myspace, not here

2. How long were you with your ex?
Off and on for like 4 years

3. What was their best quality?
He could be very sweet, when he wanted to be

4. What was their worst?
Flaky, didn't really respect me

5. Why did it end?
He cheated on me but begged me to stay with him, so we did, but I hated him and I was really mean to him until finally he dumped me

6. What was their shoe size?
like... 11?

7. Would you give it another go?

8. For reals...were they really that good-looking?
I thought so.... haha, noone else seemed to. He had a baby face- humans are naturally attracted to baby faces, it's a naturally selective adaptation

9. Were you in love?
Very much

10. Were they in love with you?
As far as I could tell

11. Did you do the nasty?
Yes- each other's firsts, go figure

12. What was their pet name?
I didn't really call him anything... Honey, I guess, but he called me Chipmunk... and Freckles.

13. What was the worst name you ever called them?
To his face? haha...

14. Who broke up with whom?
Him... all three times

15. Do you miss them?

16. How long did it take you to get over the break up?
I got over it the night he told me he cheated on me... which, incidentally, was several months before the actual breakup

18. Where was your "spot"?
Umm... early on it was Silver Palace, then it was... his house, I guess

19. Where did you meet?
At Rindi's old ice rink

20. Where was the break up?
On the phone... that was the only way it could have happened, with him

21. Happiest memory?
The day before we got back together the last time, walking around the farm

22. Worst memory?
The night he cheated on me

23. Are they dating anyone?
Yeah... and getting married soon, apparently

24. When was the last time you two communicated?
We talk online every now and then

25. Did you ever talk about getting married?
Oh yeah... much

26. Did you like their friends? Did they like yours?
Not really... to both questions... they were too weird for me, and I wasn't weird enough for them

27. Do you still have his/her stuff?
Just one card he made me

28. What was the best gift they gave you?
That card

29. What was their smell?
Old spice... loved it

30. Biggest pet peeve?
Him dumping me then trying to get back together

31. Were they a good kisser?

32. If they came with a warning sign...what would it be?
Beware of geek

33. (if a guy)Did they have a big...you know what? (If a girl) was everything good from chest to the down south region?
About average

34. Was there public groping?
No more than holding hands and cuddles... I'm not big on PDA

35. Did their family like you?
His mother LOVED me, but I'm pretty sure his dad and sister just thought I was annoying... oh yeah, and his grandparents liked me too... actually his dad and stepmom seemed to like me a lot when we spent a weekend together on the lake

36. Boxer, boxer briefs, briefs, gannypanties, or thongs, g-strings?
Boxers... and they were ALL plaid... almost all

37. Did you have goodbye sex?
I would say all the half-assed, loveless sex those three months after he dumped me was goodbye sex, in a way

38. If you knew they were reading this, what would you say to them?
     Read 2 - Post
02:47pm 07/11/2005
  is when we're all going to vote on Prop 2. At least, those of us who care. So this bulletin is just to remind you to care, because... it's IMPORTANT!

Just to remind you, Prop 2 says that anything resembling or identical to marriage will not be given any of the same rights as marriage. And, being an amendment to the Texas Constitution, would take quite a lot of effort to overturn should it get passed. So it's really important that we don't let it pass.

Why? Because this would not only hurt gay unions, but also common-law marriages and domestic partner benefits. For example, if you're gay OR straight and work for a fairly liberal place, like Rice for instance, and you live with someone but aren't married to them, they're still entitled to great things like health insurance and social security. This amendment would revoke all those rights.

So, whether you're gay or not, planning on living with someone for a long time or getting married much sooner, you must understand that it's not okay to support measures that will strip the rights of people we love and respect (or anyone, for that matter).

It'll only take a few minutes, and if you voted for the president last year you're already registered. And if you don't know where you're supposed to vote, you can find yourself on this website and they'll e-mail you the location: http://www.friendsvote.org/

So... no excuses! (unless you don't care or are really anti-gay)

Vote NO on prop 2, bitches!

<3 Andrea
It's about to get political up in this bitch   
04:55pm 01/11/2005
  Well whether you're a Republican or a Democrat I can bet, if you're a friend of mine, that you at least have some respect for human rights and civility. Bush's nomination of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court spits in the face of equality and threatens to significantly bias the radical right for many years to come. This would cause many of the decisions of the court to be heavily weighted on the side of the radical right, and I think we can all agree that radicalism on either side doesn't amount to much in the way of fairness or human rights. I know this (it's a petition that will automatically send an e-mail to our senators from whoever is willing to simply give their e-mail address) may not do much, but especially here in Texas the voice of the Democrats must be stronger because we are just as powerful and committed... aren't we? Prove it.


Thank you.

<3 Andi
100 Survey   
12:11pm 15/10/2005
  Because my boyfriend is away all day learning how to ride a motorcycle and my best friend had to break our plans to go hang out with her paycheck, and I'm BORED.

100 Things


1* First grade teacher's name: Miss Oliver
2* Last words you said: Love you... to Z on the phone
3* Last song you sang: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
4* Last person you hugged: probably Dixie, yesterday afternoon at the Menil
5* Last thing you laughed hard at: Lots of things last night... Gotta love good food, inebriation, and the people you love
6* Last time you said I dont remember: Umm... I don't remember... see? There you have it
7* Last time you cried: Yesterday... things tend to get tricky before they get great
9* What color socks are you wearing: Shit, I NEVER wear socks... I'm a flip flop queen
10* What's under your bed: I think it's pretty clean... maybe a couple pieces of paper or articles of clothing?
11* What time did you wake up today: 7:50, because Zaniel had to go to his class and I havn't been able to fall back to sleep which is why I'm awake even though I don't have to be which is why I'm filling out this damn survey to kill all my extra time... okay I'm done with my rant
12* Current taste: Grapenuts
13* Current hair colour: Reddish Brown
15* Current annoyance: Being bored
16* Current longing: For my paper due next Thursday to magically write itself
17* Current desktop background: A photo of roses I took at Roosevelt's summer home in Canada
18* Current worry: Zaniel killing himself on the motorcycle... eeeek
19* Current hate: Nothing really
20* Current favorite article of clothing: I dunno... my green skirt?
21* Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: Face... It's all about a warm, friendly, but strong face
22* Last CD that you listened to: Elliot Smith - Figure Eight
23* Favorite place to be: Sitting in the kayak near the shore of the peninsula on Songo pond picking wild blueberries right from the water
24* Favorite sport: Basketball (watching) or soccer (playing)
25* Time you wake up in the morning? 8 every weekday
26* if you could play any instrument what would it be? I want to master the bass... and, if I didn't have to work at it, I'd like to be able to play the piano really well
27* Favorite color: Purple
28* Do you believe in a heaven: No... I think heaven and hell are what you make of your life... but who knows?
29* How tall are you: 5'6"
30* Current favorite word/saying: I've always hated this question... I never really need a catchphrase
31* Favorite book: The Phantom Tollbooth
32* Favorite season: Spring
33* One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Caroline
34* What color underwear are you wearing: Clear (haha)
35* Where do you want to go from here? Onward & upward
36* What is your career going to be like: I just want something really fulfilling that creates better educated and better fulfilled people in turn (most likely something like a teacher)
37* How many kids do you want to have: I want 2, Zaniel wants 4, I think it'll end up being like 3


39* Said "I love you" and meant it: Duh
40* Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc: I bitch at Rocket, when he's being a pain in the ass. And Oasis! I used to yell at Oasis because he was so nuts. He used to curse all the time because I had him while I was going through my "bad" phase like in middle school. (He was a parrot.. I'm not like some nut who thinks her cat was cursing at her... he really did!)
41* Favorite US State: I really <3 Maine, but Texas... well, Texas is my homeboy
42* How many US States have you visited? Like 13 I think
43* Favorite European Country? Italy or Greece
44* How many European Countries have you visited? ...Six?
45* Been to South America? Yes
46* Eastern Asia? No
48* Been to Middle-Asia? ...Does Turkey count?


52* Have you recently found a friendship, becoming more than that? I've recently found mine and Holly's relationship growing closer... and Adi and I have started having hott lesbian interludes, so there's that
53* What book are you reading now? I just finished Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (That's the title, not a question, haha)
54* Worst feeling in the world: Guilt
55* What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: "It's not 8. It can't be 8 yet"
56* How many rings before you answer your phone?: As many as happen until I can grab it, duh
57* Future daughter's name: Charisma... I hope
58* Future son's name: one's going to be David Tyler Palermo for sure
59* Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Yeah... a big Philippino monkey-looking animal
60* If you could have any job you wanted: Family judge and housewife
61* Wish you were: At the park... it's such a pretty day
62* Future plans: Finish school, Get married, Have Zaniel finish school (it'll take a while... being a doctor, and all), Get my parent's house when they retire, Take a couple of years to just work and live and relax, then Have some kids and Live happily ever after (ta-da!)
63* Piercings: Nope nope... needles = ick


64* Do you do drugs: I smoke the occasional marijuana
65* Have you ever done a strip-dance? Haha.... yeah, but it's not a pretty sight
67* What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: Herbal Essences
68* Who is the last person you kissed?: Zaniel
69* What clothes do you sleep in: Nada unless I'm in someone else's home, in which case I'll usually throw on shorts and a tank top
70* Who is the last person you called: Zaniel
71* If you could change anything about yourself what would that be: -50 lbs
73* Who do you really hate: Nobody
74* Been In Love: Twice
75* Are you timely or always late? Timely
76* Do you have a job: Mm-hm. Part-time mommy (haha)
77* Do you like being around people: I'm picky about the particular people, but generally yes. I just have to be around people that I can feel peaceful with
78* Best feeling in the world: Snuggling with someone you love
79* Are you for world peace: Duh
80* Are you a health freak: Sometimes very much, sometimes... not at all
81* Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: I have a thing for boys who are great big dorks but totally sweet
82* Do you want someone you don't have? Nope
83* Are you lonely right now: Nope
84* Ever afraid you'll never get married: It's a paranoid inkling in the very back of my brain, but I trust Zaniel
85* Do you want to get married: Yes!
86* Do you want kids? Yes... haha, just not right now


87* Cried: Yeah
88* Bought Something: Umm... no, don't think so
89* Gotten Sick: Nope
90* Sang: Yes. <3
91* Said I Love You: Of course
92* Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: Everytime I wanted to, I did...
93* Met Someone: Noone new
94* Moved On: From the little spat last night, yes
95* Called someone a bitch: Nope
96* Had A Serious Talk: Definitely... last night.
97* Missed Someone: Not really... I miss the old Dixie, but.. she's not coming back
98* Hugged Someone: Yes
99* Yelled at Someone: I was frustrated, but I didn't really yell
100* Dreamt About Someone You Can't be With: Nope
First things first   
08:21am 14/10/2005
mood: amused
Gotta clarify, for my loyal readers out there (*blows iar kisses* you love me! you really love me!)

Prop 2 is coming up on the ballot November 8th wedged in between silly little mortgage rules and less important things, and its goal is to create an amendment to the Texas Constitution that would forever forbid any type of legal union between members of the same sex. Keep in mind that, especially in Texas, it's much easier to get an amendment passed than to revoke it, so we really have to act now to keep it off the books.

Due to... God knows what, I'm sure the Republicans say "the will of the people", 11 states have already garnered in their own versions of this amendment. Well, I say there's no way that's the will of the people! We're smarter than that, and we believe in equal rights, and we know and love people that this would seriously detriment, and so we know that in order to get things done we MUST go out and show those Republicans that we're ready to use our Vote! (since we didn't as much as we needed to for the last presidential election, which if we had would have made this amendment quite unwanted, I believe)

Okay... end of politics... on to more beautiful things.

Zaniel and Holly picked me up from class last night and we drove home with the top down and it was a beautiful night. And then when we got home we had a little jam session, and Holly played what Zaniel had taught her on the guitar while I was in class, and I played the bass, and then Zaniel played guitar while Holly and I sang.

It was just a really wonderful moment.

The End.
     Read 2 - Post
Just a reminder...   
07:09pm 12/10/2005

October 12, 1998

Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.

~ Shel Silverstein

Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.

What will you do to end the silence?

Click here to post this on your own page or weblog

Vote NO prop 2 November 8th!!!
     Read 3 - Post
Must... conform!   
04:31pm 11/10/2005
  1. Initials: AHH (if you put a couple of exclamation points afterwords, it's a scream! AHH!!!)
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: this girl who used to walk me to school at West U Elementary... I think her name was Jessica?
3. Where was your first kiss? In class at the Rice lab school... it was a dare
4. For or against same sex marriages? FOR... vote NO on prop 2 November 8th!!!!
5. Are you homophobic? nope
6. Are you bisexual? nope
7. Do you believe in God? Not in the way most people think of it, but.. yes
8. How many US states have you been to? Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Florida, California, DC, Jersey, New York, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Colorado, Ohio... that's all that I remember... so... 16?
9. How many of the US states have you lived in? just Texas
10. Have you ever lived outside the US? In Madagascar and Canada, for a month a piece (so... not really living there, but you know)
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My hair (duh)
12. Name something non physical you like about yourself: My hair... haha I mean that I'm lovable
13. Where do you want to go to retire? Maine or the Philippines of Australia or... anywhere but here! (haha j/k dawg)
14. What is your dream car? Right now I'm kinda crazy about those Infiniti x35s, because they're so damn cute, but I like anything in a convertible... and I <3 art cars!
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Maine... I miss it
16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone? I love how some of these questions make it clear that surveys like this are written for kids in like middle or early high school... or big prudes (obviously my answer is yes)
17. How many concerts have you gone to? Deftones, Chili Peppers/ Foo Fighters, one Earth day thingy from 104 (haha... my tastes were nuts back in the day) but recently... just like FDF shows and then APC last year
18. Do you download music? Who doesn't?
19. How many illegal things have you done? No more than the usual- underage drinking, speeding, smoking pot
20. Where would you want to go on a romantic date? A play, the movies, the beach, the farm... Wherever, as long as we end up someplace quiet where we can talk
21. Describe your perfect date: What an astute observation, Mike. This IS a repeat question!
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Zaniel... <3<3<3
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Umm... have I? I don't know. Probably. We set off fireworks at the farm
24. Do you like president Bush? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... no.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? No... don't think I could... bad knees
26. Have you ever whitewater rafted? I used to every year, in Colorado, and then I did once in Alaska (brrr) - so much fun
27. Have you ever crashed a car? I've been in one, but it was never my fault
28. Has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you? Some 33 year old guy on Myspace sent me an e-mail aasking me if he could repeatedly give me oral sex, going into graphic detail about sensual lips (mine) and an eager tongue (his)... so... yeah... creepy....
29. Have you met a real redneck? Not sure... I guess not really
30. Are you interested in anyone right now? Myself, mostly (haha)... oh, and the boy... can't forget the boy... what was his name again? Daniel? Zebediah? Something like that...
31. What song are you listening to right now? Watching Jeopardy
32. What is your current favorite song? at this very moment "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel, but it changes often
33. What was the last movie you watched? honestly? Cinderella... what?!?! it just came out on DVD!
34. Who was the last person you said you loved? Zaniel
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? the BANK, bitches
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Haha... once a bunch of girls and I stuck tampons all over our guy friend's car because he had this weird phobia of them... but that's it
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? I would say no, or at least, not seriously... Zaniel may disagree with me (oops...) And... I think I hit Cooper pretty hard when he told me he cheated on me (who can blame me?)
38. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people? I sang the national anthem for a Rice baseball game once, but I think that was the biggest
39. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Face (duh)
40. What really turns you on? A strong voice, firm body, and deep eyes
41. What do you usually order from starbucks? Shaken passion tea lemonade or a White Chocolate Mocha
42. What is your biggest mistake? Not going to Rice 2 years ago
43. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? When I was younger and stupider, I used to cut, but not for like 8 years now
44. Say something totally random about you: I like tapioca pudding
45. Do you have an i-pod? I WISH
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Not to my knowledge... of course, most celebrities are skinny (haha)
47. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? see #33
48. Do you have braces? Another question for younger people... I had 'em at the end of middle school
49. Are you comfortable with your height? Yeah, pretty much
50. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? Zaniel writing me songs, getting me flowers, cooking, cleaning, writing sweet little notes... it's in the details
51. When do you know its love? When you say "fuck it" to being politically correct and let yourself get wrapped in the other person in a way that would be unhealthy if it wasn't mutual, full of respect, and 100% commited
52. Do you speak any other languages besides English? I can get along in Spanish
53. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Hell no
54. What magazines do you read? None... just the Sunday paper
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Once, for a funeral
56. Has anyone you were really close with pass away? My grandmother
57. Do you watch MTV? Nope, almost never
58. Whats something that really annoys you? Ignorance
59. Whats something you really like? Cuddling
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? No... I think he's guilty
61. Can you dance? Yeah... not great, but...
62. Have you ever surfed? Nope
63. Do you know how to pump gas? Haha... yes
64. Do you drive? Of course
65. Whats the latest you have ever stayed up? All night
66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Umm... yes... going back to my suicidal days
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Three times... always for my DAMNED ACL
68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? Of course... mostly embarassing, not morality-breaking
70. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Pretty much always, except Lydia's... she writes SO DAMNED MANY
     Read 1 - Post
rita rita ri-ta!   
12:32am 23/09/2005
  Sooo... we're all gonna die.

Not really.

Okay, I know this is crazy, but I'm really worried about my ex boyfriend. I mean... it's probably alot because he has a baby. God, hearing all these stories about irresponsible people with their kids (like David's story) just disgusts me. Not that I think he'll be irresponsible with his kid, but... I don't know. I worry. I don't really know about Bea, but I know that Penny's safely out of town, and I know my twins are safely far away, so I guess he's just the only person with a baby whose fate I'm unsure of.

I'm crazy.

I'm also feeling insecure because today is mine and Zaniel's year and a half anniversary and noone's ever handled me for more than a year and a half. (Cooper kept getting tired of me right around then) And now I think maybe Zaniel's getting tired of me. I mean... his life is just really stressful and either I make it worse or else he just takes it out on me which makes me feel like I make it worse. Either way, every time something bad happens in our life, I feel more insecure about us. And I hate that feeling.

I've just been panicky lately, because with everyone it always seems like a year and a half is the limit of how much a person can be close to me.

...I'm going to stop talking now.
     Read 2 - Post
11:21am 18/08/2005
mood: excited
Well, so much has happened. I feel like I havn't posted in forever. Hmm....

Zaniel and I are all moved in now. Our place is beautiful, but unfortunately I don't get to live there at the moment. Zaniel and I had a pretty big fight and so I'm crashing at my parents indefinitely... I guess we're breaking up.

JUST KIDDING. Haha.. I don't know why I thought that would be funny. I'm actually just stuck at Rice for a week for orientation. We're doing alot of fun stuff, like pranks on the other colleges (residential colleges... it's a Rice thing), and last night we played broomball at the icerink in the Galleria, and there have been a bunch of parties and stuff. Plus, it's really helpful to have all this time off work to really get into the Rice life.

For instance, I've had plenty of time to plan out my schedule, work on getting all my credits transferred properly, and do little maintenance things like getting my ID and everything. It's been a very useful week, although a bit boring at times. I'm making friends and getting involved, even though my dorm is like a hotel room for me, whereas to everyone else it's home. But still, I'm going to get involved in things, keep doing plays, parties, stuff like that. I'm pretty stoked.

Mostly, I'm just astonished. I mean, two years ago I just sort of shoved my unfinished application in my desk, thinking there was no use in trying because I would never make it to Rice. And now here I am, sitting in the commons of the best of all nine colleges (Team Wiess! Woo!), at Rice -motherfucking- University!

Ok, I really don't mean to brag, but I'm just really happy. Of course, I should have come here 2 years ago, but at least I'm here now. And it's great. I just saw Sue (our college coordinator) come in, so I think I'm going to go get my registration pin from her and then get lunch. Which reminds me of two more cool points of interest: 1) the food here rocks. Our servery (it's just for our college and the one next door, apparently all the others on campus aren't as good) is ranked 2nd in the nation. Which, lemme tell ya, is five hundred times better than that HBU garbage. 2) My classes!! I'm taking: Social Psych and Statistical Methods (both for my Psych major), and then just some fun ones: Linguistics, Sociology of the family (which will be really really useful if I do become a school psychologist or a social worker... or a mom, haha), and theatre!!!

But I'm getting all wrapped up in school. I can't forget the other really really important thing in my life, which is moving in with Zaniel. Everyone needs to come see our place! It gets better every day. Zaniel's fixing up all the electronic gizmos and we've got like surround sound and everything just looks beautiful. All we need is to get our artwork up, but I think Zaniel's going to do some of that while I'm gone to surprise me. He's so cute. I love him. I wish I could be sleeping with him every night. The teeny tiny dorm bed is not my favorite way to sleep, by any means. Anyway, I realy am gonna go now. Check ya later!
Because, let's face it, I <3 Michelle   
01:02am 30/07/2005
  ... and also because I've had a LONG FUCKING DAY. Not bad, necessarily, as the caps would indicate, just... LONG. Had to write my english comp paper for Rice, then the rest of the day was getting the u-haul, packing, moving. We got a whole lot done today, which is impressive because our actual move-in date according to our complex and all our friends helping us move and everything is actually tomorrow. Go us! We're so practical. But did I mention that being practical ALL DAY gets TIRING? Which is why (I'm finally getting to the point now)... it's time to sit back and relax with a...


1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? white with pink rims... let's see how long Zaniel lets me keep them, haha
2. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW? Finished Harry Potter #6, which was.... fantastic, of course, and I think I'm gonna take a lil break until school starts
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? laptop... no mouse, no mouse pad
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Cranium... could it be because I kick ass? I don't know
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? don't really have one... but like most girls, I gotta love Cosmo.
6. FAVORITE SMELL? tie... and this is going to be stupid and sappy, but it's true... between 4711 and cool water, which are my dad's and zaniel's colognes, respectively
7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? yeah, I'm going to have to agree with vomit. of any variety
8. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? Oh PLEASE don't let it be time to get up yet!
9. FAVORITE COLOR? purple and green
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? as long as it takes me to grab it! please, how many people count rings??
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME- our first son is going to be David Tyler Palermo, and after that... who knows? I want a girl named Charisma, but we'll see
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? well-put, Michelle... love, love, love (love is all you need)
16. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? used to... then it matured to a bunch of pillows, and now it's Zaniel... I mean, he is kind of an animal
17. THUNDERSTORMS -COOL OR SCARY? they're not really cool... especially when you're trying to move, but they're certainly not scary, unless you're the babies or my dog Katie
18. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A beautiful white Chrysler Lebaron with stripes and flowers and... *sigh* I miss her
19. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? anything strong but sweet... long islands are good
20. YOUR BIRTHDAY? 8-14-85... coming up soon! buy me presents.
21. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? actually they're my favorite part
23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE? i like it just the way it is
24. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? is this a trick question?
25. FAVORITE MOVIE? too many... Airplane!, Princess Bride, Napoleon Dynamite, to name a few
27. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? tricky question... my bed's in pieces getting ready to move... ask me tomorrow
29. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? basketball... gotta be fast, I went to the 'Stros game last night and it was just toooooo slow
30. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? "Being old and alone with 40 cats at the end of a road while all of the neighborhood children taunt me." -that's Michelle's answer, and I like it. haha. Although... I don't think I would ever have 40 cats. Puppies, maybe.
34. FAVORITE CD? Abbey Road
35. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? family guy, forensic files, 24, sex and the city
36. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? Ketchup. but just because I HATE mustard.
37. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? I'm a vegetarian, and until they can make a decent tofu dog, definitely burgers. DEFINITELY the black peppercorn burger at Chili's with the black bean patty *drooooooool*
38. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? don't really like sodas... I guess Sprite
41. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS? neither... again with the vegetarian thing
In my dreams, people SUCK   
08:59am 19/07/2005
mood: geeky
Zaniel has finally stopped cheating on me in my dreams. He did it like 12 times in the past 2 months, and then I guess my psyche just gave up on that one.

Unfortunately, it's moved on to something worse. These last two dreams, first my mother, then last night my father, kill themselves. What the fuck?!?! Give me the cheating dreams back! Oh, and last night was the worst, because I'm such a damned daddy's girl. He hung himself at the farm, and my mother and I found him, and we pulled him down but we were just like a moment too late. I mean, he was still warm and everything.

And then... well, haha, I could tell it was a dream at that part, because I had a conversation with my father's spirit or whatever. But still... it was creepy. What the fuck are these dreams about?? None of this could possibly happen. And, except for getting cheated on, it's not like any of this has happened before so I'm afraid. And really, I'm not afraid about Zaniel, just because he's too good for that. That's just a general anxiety since it's happened before. But I have no anxiety about my parents killing themselves. I mean... sheesh, do I need to see a psychologist or something??

Well anyway... about my waking (aka better) life, I've had two days off of work (well, this is my second), so that's pretty cool. Although this makes it the longest time that I havn't worked since Christmas. Crazy, huh? I got a stomach bug and Catherine got a cold at the same time so Liz just wants us to stay away from each other to keep us from getting the other's illness. Although, I'm all better today. And whether or not Catherine's better, I'm going to work on Wednesday. I think mostly Liz just wanted to keep Catherine from getting what I had than vice versa.

Slightly unfortunately, however, today was the day that Zaniel was going to help his sister move (back in with her terrible, awful, mean nasty husband who she was SO CLOSE to divorcing until she chickened out), so I guess I'm going to help him with that, which means... it's not really a day off as much as a day doing other work. And this... I don't think I'm getting paid for. She didn't pay us when we spent like WEEKS buying all of her furniture with her and moving it in and assembling it and decorating her apartment for her and all of that, so... hmm. But at least the two of us DID assemble her furniture, so it'll be easier to diss- and re- assemble it for the move. But... I still don't know if I want to be doing any heavy work on my day off after I got over a stomach virus. Maybe I'll just do all the easy tool stuff and let Z do the heavy lifting. Yeah.

Have I mentioned that it's like SIX DAYS till we sign our lease?! Which means, if we play our cards right, six days until we can start moving in our stuff. And only 12 days until our official move-in day anyway. All we still need are some kitchen things and decorative things... maybe some plants. Eeee! I'm so excited. I remember when Zaniel and I first started talking about maybe moving in together, he kept telling me it could never happen because of his mother and the expenses and everything and... somehow we made it work! And it's happening in twelve days!!! Aaand, my birthday is in less than a month. And then I go to orientation week at Rice! My life is getting so exciting. Or else... I'm a big dork.

Aaaanyway... Zaniel's out of the shower, so I better go get ready myself.

I just hope these damned dreams stop!!!
It's more than a little bit curious how you plan to go about making your amends to the dead   
07:56pm 30/06/2005
  Well well well...

I've been meaning to write a post for quite some time now, but I've got free time right now and something just happened that was the icing on the cake, as far as interesting stuff goes. Well, not quite the icing, I mean, I didn't get abducted by aliens or anything, but it was interesting nonetheless.

I just bumped into my ex's mother and sister at Old Navy. Crazy. Haha... she was telling me about how great he's doing and everything that he's doing with his life, and asked me about mine, and then (since I was with him,) she met Zaniel. It was interesting. Well, I say she, but really they. I just never really talked to Maddy much. I always got the impression she didn't really like me. I don't know. Aaaanyways.

There are so many things I just want to write about, even though none of them are terribly interesting. Like how yesterday Michelle H. and I went and got our nails done together.

Or... and this is pretty depressing, so brace yourself, my boss's dog died. We had just put the babies down for their nap, and I was washing some dishes or bottles or something, and she just... whined, this really loud, pained whine, and collapsed. I could tell she was dying (well, the doctors said that was how it was going to happen), so I just sat with her while Liz was running around trying to call the vet, and she just... died right there in my arms. It was pretty traumatic, since I've only ever seen one thing die before, and that was just a teeny tiny bird. Nikki was huge... she was like a person there convulsing on me.

Needless to say, work's been a little more rough, since the babies miss her, and Liz and David are both pretty depressed. And David wants me to work more, so Liz isn't alone as much. Which is okay, because... I like having money. Specially because I want to save up for our place. I just can't fucking wait for August 1st to be here. Although I am really really scared. I mean, especially because of these fucking dreams. I had another one last night, where he cheated on me with one of his ex girlfriends. Anyway, I have to wrap this up because we're about to leave to go chill at a friend's house. Finish later.
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all about MIKE   
12:03am 22/06/2005
mood: horny
I wrote a huge long journal entry and didn't say anything about Mike. Which is SO unlike me. Because I <3 Mike.

Mike is just sooooo great. I could write about him all day long. Or picture him naked, which is more fun. (haha)

Mike just wrote a journal entry that was very cryptic. It was a poem or song lyrics or something, and it seemed like it was written about God (since the "You's" were capitalized), but I think it was really about Michelle. He misses Michelle. That's so sweet. So either he was trying to say something about how she's his God, or else... he's a retard.

Hey, just because this entry's all about Mike doesn't mean I can't insult him.

But I won't. Because the poor kid's lonely. Although, he really doesn't have to be. His myspace account says he's a mormon, so I keep trying to tell him that I'll be his second wife. I could keep him company while Michelle's at UM army. And you know what I mean by "keep him company." *wink, wink*

Although, I'm not sure I can handle him all school year while Michelle's in San Marcos. That might be a little much of Mike. I don't think Zaniel would like to have to share me. Unless it was with a girl and he got to watch. Hmm.. maybe we can dress Mike up like a girl and have a threesome. That would be SO HOTT.

...Wow, this was just meant to be a playful joke about Mike and it turned raunchy and RANDOM really fast.

I'm such a spaz. I just started thinking about being Mike's second wife and I got all excited. Haha.

Mike Mike Mike. I <3 Mike.

this is a haiku
i wrote just for mikey-poo
you are such a dork

Ok shit!! Now you're here. In this house. That just makes me drunk with love! But actually I just don't want you to walk in here and think that I'm really gay (haha, well, you will when you read this anyway) So I'm going to wrap this bitch up.

Bitch, come have sex with Mike Hutchinson. (yeah... it doesn't sound as good that way.)

I'm Rick James, bitch!

     Read 1 - Post
crazy weekend   
12:17am 19/06/2005
mood: nostalgic
and it's not even over! AND I get an extra day of it since I have off work Monday, on account of the fact that my bosses (and babies) will be in Baton Rouge.

I had a replay of what is now officially a reoccuring dream (even if it only reoccured once) in which Brian ends up telling me that Zaniel is cheating on me. With Holly, no less! Dream Zaniel is turning out to be a real dickhead. Which is funny, because, as far as my childhood fantasies, he's a "dream come true", but he better never make my recent dreams come true. I've been cheated on twice so far, once by someone I truly loved, and I can say I never wanna go through that crap again.

So why does Dream Zaniel cheat on me? Or... Dream me, rather. I'm sure it's not a premonition, but it's still really unnerving. And especially with... Holly? Haha... well, that would never ever happen, so I've got nothing to worry about there.

Last night we had some friends over and had a little drinking party. We used our brand new shot glasses :) We went shopping and bought glasses (regular and shot), pretty silverware, matching towels, and other cute bathroom stuff for our apartment yesterday. I'm so excited. We still need alot of stuff, like a vacuum cleaner, pots and pans, and I really want a BIG, nice pepper grinder. Haha. Cuz I loves me some pepper.

Everything is really coming together as far as the apartment in concerned. I just want it to be August 1st! I'm sure I've said that a million times, both on myspace and here, but it's a big step and it'll only happen once (moving in with a boyfriend for the first time). Actually, if all goes as we want it to, it will be the only time. Or at least, he'll be the only guy. After my parents retire they plan on moving somewhere colder (haha... that should be easy), and then we plan on buying their house from them.

Anyway, no more babbling about Zaniel. I just <3 him too much. Nah, there's no such thing as loving a person too much. Well, I guess there is. Haha.

Speaking of old issues, Dixie and I had lunch today for like 4 hours between reminiscing and debating. I won't get into the debating part, except to say that her closemindedness really gets on my nerves, but the reminiscing... was crazy. She found our old notebook, and you can really see the progression of our falling apart as the notes progress. You can really see the point where she starts to get more holier-than-though, and then you can see where we started fighting about Cooper and me taking him back. Not that I blame Cooper for Dixie and I breaking up, it happened for a lot of reasons. And then you get to a point where the writing just stops abruptly (after we "broke up", obviously)

Needless to say, it really made me think. I actually started crying (well, my eyes welled up) when we sort of transitioned from our religious debate to the reminiscing part, because I know that we're never going to be remotely the same. I've known that since she first called me at Christmas, but I hadn't told her that I thought that until just this afternoon. It just makes me sad, because Holly and I aren't best friends anymore by any stretch of the imagination, and Dixie and I will never be that again, and so I'm left with that void, in effect.

Not that I don't have friends, and not that I resent either of them, it's just that I've always enjoyed having that girl that I clicked with indefinitely, and now I don't have anyone filling that place. And it's never the same sort of person, either. My closeness with Dixie was nothing at all like my closeness with Holly, but I still just like to feel that intimacy with another girl. Not that Zaniel's not good enough as a best friend, but there are just certain things that you need a best gal pal for. Like... for being a maid of honor, for instance. Haha, and god knows Amy won't be my maid of honor. She'd probably insist on wearing a tux.

I guess it's better this way. Now I have a chance to find someone new that I can click with on a whole new level. I won't be able to do that with a guy anymore (haha, not that I mind that, trying to find a boyfriend is tough... well, I say that, but really Zaniel just sort of fell into my lap, didn't he?) but anyway... that will be fun. And I'll have a more diverse group to choose from at Rice than I had at HBU. I mean, not that I didn't like the people from HBU, but my list of friends that I can never fully relate to because their first priority is upholding the bible is full to the brim. Not accepting anymore applications. And sitting there right at the top of that list is Dixie. *sob*

Well, next weekend her mom is renting her a beachhouse and maybe there I'll get her to let her hair down a little. I doubt it, but it might be nice just to have a girls night (there will be about 6 of us) and just not have to bring the bible into our conversations. I like debate, don't get me wrong, but it gets frustrating when she just refuses to see anything outside of the scope of a book. Sure, it's a big book, but there are plenty of places where it falls short of rationality. Oh well. I know it, and now she knows it, that she and I will just never be close again. And, while it's depressing, I'm ok with that.

Zaniel is being so cute sitting here next to me trying to write songs on his electric. There's just something so genuine about him and us and our relationship that makes me just so sure that we're in it for the long haul. God I love it when he writes songs about me. Liz and I were talking about proposals the other day (because Dixie just got engaged) and I was thinking that when he proposes to me, it should include a song. That would be sweet.

Okay enough daydreaming. I just hope my nighttime dreaming doesn't include a cheating Zaniel!!! Okay goodnight.
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babies babies babies!!!   
12:10am 13/06/2005
mood: content
Hahahahahaha. I figured out how to change my actual url on myspace. Now instead of a number, I'm "andiberri". Which gives me a monopoly on that name. Sweet. Because, you know, "andi" is always already taken.

Hung out with Penny and Bea yesterday, and they're both just about to pop. And apparently Cooper had his baby the night before last. It's like having a baby is the latest trend. Crazy. Brian was talking about when Zaniel and I are getting married, and I'm really frustrated to think that it may be quite a while from now. I just can't wait to skip ahead to when we both have our jobs and a house and babies on the way. I mean, I want some time to settle our careers and travel and have fun with Zaniel before we get pregnant, but at the same time... I want babies. Well, not really. I'll help Bea and Penny with theirs and that will be better than having to deal with my own.

I love being a nanny... maybe when the twins get too old to have a nanny (I wonder if they ever will?) I'll work for Penny or Bea.

Yesterday I bought a papasan frame for $20 at an estate sale, which makes me really happy. I've always wanted one, and Casey promised me his and then that never went through. And now we'll have one, for our new place! God I wish August 1st was tomorrow. I can't wait to just be living together and not having to worry about all the back and forth bullshit.

I had another weird dream this morning, but all I can remember about it was that it was weird. Hmm.

Speaking of babies, I need to wake up early tomorrow to tend to the twins, so I ought to go to sleep.

Oh yeah, and I started "Bushworld" by Maureen Dowd. She's great.

craziest dream ever!!   
09:27am 10/06/2005
mood: weird
So a bunch of people are all going to see "Spamalot", for some reason. We all walk in and have OK seats, but Zaniel completely ignores me, so I wander off to spite him. I end up finding Erin (W.) and sitting with her, and for some reason she has front row seats. Like, our seats are on the stage and so we're having to catch flying props and chat with the actors while they're resting and everything (judging by the way the actors were dressed and the sorts of props, it was more like a circus than a monty python production, but you never know with monty python). Anyway, I can see Zaniel and all of the rest of our friends across the way and he's got his arm around some other girl, looking like he doesn't even know I'm not there.

All of the sudden, this prop flies at me so I grab it, and it's like... gooey or something so I leave in a huff to go wash my hands. Anyway, since we're like right on stage, apparently we're in some elite section and there's this fancy bar right as I walk out. Well, the bar has a sink behind it, so I climb over and wash my hands. Then, this rich italian guy comes up and for some reason I know that he owns the stage where this is being performed, and it turns out that we have some strange sordid Ayn Rand-esque affair... that whole part seemed really out of the blue. But anyway, as I'm sitting there on the bar we have this intense, passionate kiss, and he lifts me off of the bar and all of the sudden I notice that I'm like really pretty. I mean, I'm like thin... that's the only difference. Haha.

Anyway, now Erin comes back and convinces me to go find Zaniel (why she left her prime seat to come meddle in my affair, I have no clue, hahaha). And so we go, but he's still just totally ignoring me. Then, he fucking gets up and moves seats, to like 6 down away from where I'm standing, and Erin follows him and sits down next to him, and then he puts his arm around her! And they like cuddle and shit while watching the play. So I sit down where he was sitting, and to my right is this guy that looks just like Nathan Hamilton. So I try to talk to him, but he turns out to not be Nathan Hamilton. But apparently I know him, too, and he's got this younger brother that's sitting behind me, and I turn to the younger brother and say "Oh yeah, you used to be best friends with Nathan's little brother... you were the two readheaded kids" or something weird like that, and then he said something weird also that I didn't really get.

So I get bored with the Nathan lookalike, so I turn to my left and it's freaking Barak Messina! He's an old friend of mine from middle school. Anyway, he sees that I'm upset but for some reason he thinks it's because my air conditioning is broken? Which it was, a few days ago, but it got fixed, but that doesn't matter to me anyway because I don't live there anymore. So he's trying to comfort me, and I'm just trying to convince him that that's not what's bugging me, and thinking about whether or not I should tell him about how Zaniel's been pissing me off, and eventually I realize that he has put his arm around me, and so I just snuggle into him and watch the rest of the show.

For some reason, though, the show had turned into like a cartoon holograph or something by then. I don't really get that little plot twist, but basically that's when I woke up.

Man, that was like the 3rd Zaniel being mean/ cheating on me dream I've had in the past month. I hate them!!! I don't get it. Anyone care to analyze it for me? I used to be really good at that shit, but this one... I don't have a clue. Post some comments.
11:04pm 05/06/2005
mood: lethargic
What has been going on lately? Hmm

I realized this weekend that I don't live at my apartment anymore. Like... I just pay big bills for a large storage facility for all my shit. Which... is annoying. Ugh, August 1st is going to take FOREVER to get here. I've officially got a drawer at Zaniel's place. So that I don't have to stop by my apt every single morning to grab new clothes. I should have thought of that earlier, but I wasn't ready to let go yet. I guess now I have. *sob*

We were going to crash at my apartment last night, even, but we decided that we'd have more privacy at the farm. Plus it was easier to drive last night than it would have been this morning. We had to go to church this morning because the twins were being "honored" at church for their graduation (they got gift certificates, engraved bibles, and a few kind words... generally missable, but it was important to mom, of course).

It's so weird having people who havn't seen me in a few years (like the church ladies) ask me about the ex (well, all they really ever say is "whatever happened to...") if they havn't heard the story. It's just like... I don't know, it feels like a whole lifetime ago. I don't even remember what he looks like or sounds like or anything. I guess he's a daddy by now... geez. Maybe I should have put him on the prayer list at mom's church (haha).

Penny will be a mommy any day now too. Her baby shower is Saturday. I hope she doesn't pop by then. Actually, I hope she does so I can see the baby. I looooove babies. I miss tiny babies. The twins seem so old already. I mean, they're only a year. Mostly I just want to hang out with teenier babies. I'll have to call up Penny and Bea (and Cooper? haha) and offer to babysit.

Speaking of babies, I've gotta wake up at 8 tomorrow to take care of mine (well... you know what I mean), so I should get to bed. I didn't sleep much last night (haha...)

12:43pm 29/05/2005

The a.p.t. (as Holly would say)

the fireplace is on the left wall

more later
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